Holiday greetings and hyper sensitivity
December 23rd, 2007
I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I love holidays. I love being with family and friends. I enjoy the general atmosphere of friendship, caring, and fun. I absolutely hate the pseudo-religious wars over holiday greetings. Imagine standing in line in a store. The clerk gives a generic “Happy Holidays” to a guest, who rudely responds, “No, it’s Merry Christmas! Don’t destroy my season” or something similar. Hmm. It seems to me the clerk was merely trying to wish the guest peace, love and joy, not start a fight. There is the other side, too. Someone says, “Merry Christmas,” and the recipiant of the kind wishes gets his undies in a bunch and rudely replies, “I don’t believe in that holiday, I am a (insert other belief system here).” Yikes! All the greeter was trying to do was include the listener in a time of year that the greeter enjoys and appreciates. Really, people, we need to stop being so irritatingly sensitive. All these things are being said with a kind intent, a desire to include you in the fun, frivolity, or even serious celebration of a time of year that is important to the person giving the greeting. You should feel desired, wanted, and loved, not offended, angry or threatened. Lighten up (both sides)! If a Muslim says to me, “Mabrook al aid,” thereby wishing me a wonderful Aid al Kebir, an event which occurred this week, I don’t need to respond that I am not a Muslim and get offended at his kind attempt to include me in a time of celebration that he finds meaningful and important. Instead, the proper response is, “Thank you.” It doesn’t actually hurt anything to return the greeting. If a Jew wishes me a “Happy Hanukkah,” I have no reason to be offended. He is welcoming me to join in a celebration that he enjoys. If a Christian wishes someone “Merry Christmas,” this is not automatically an invitation to convert, nor is it an attempt to insult, demean, or offend. He desires that you find pleasure from a holiday that he enjoys. If a pagan wishes me a “Happy Yule” or a “Merry Solstice,” they are not trying to say that they are better or that I am worse, they are giving a greeting that has meaning for them and welcoming me to join them in a seasonal celebration that they enjoy. If an atheist smiles and wishes me “Season’s Greetings,” they are not trying to be rude. It is more likely they don’t have a specific holiday that they celebrate, but they do want me to know that they consider me important and wish to share with me a hope for a joyous time of year. Now, when someone says, “Happy Holidays,” they are not trying to offend anyone by excluding their holiday of choice. They are trying to be as inclusive as possible. Bottom line for me: I wish the world would quit being so hyper-sensitive this time of year. If someone wishes you joy, using words you wouldn’t use or a holiday that you don’t celebrate, just say “Thank you” and move on. Please don’t do the exact opposite of their goal and cause a huge ruckus by complaining, arguing, or becoming bitter and rude. Oh, and Merry Christmas from me. 
Entry Filed under: General
25 Comments Add your own
1. Tom Mann | December 23rd, 2007 at 6:05 am
Spot on.
Merry Xmas!
2. Onyros | December 23rd, 2007 at 10:20 am
Season’s Greetings, mate!
3. wolfger | December 23rd, 2007 at 10:45 am
I’m tempted to say you’re oversensitive about people being oversensitive
But honestly, I couldn’t agree with you more! Happy Solstice!
4. richo | December 23rd, 2007 at 11:31 am
Good points and Merry Christmas. I lve in NYC where hypersensitivity is a a way of life. Something about being threatened by cultural diversity I suspect. One of the joys of our rapidly globalizing world.
5. Correction | December 23rd, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Correction:It’s Eid Al-Adha [
6. bapoumba | December 23rd, 2007 at 12:43 pm
Thank you, and Joyeuses fêtes
7. matthew | December 23rd, 2007 at 12:51 pm
To Correction: Thank you. You are correct. It is Eid Al Adha, the Feast of Sacrifice. Here where I live, people most often refer to it Eid Al Kebir, The Big Feast. Also, I used the French transliteration for عيد, which is Aid…I apologize for any confusion.
Eid Mobarak Said to you.
8. Ali | December 23rd, 2007 at 3:40 pm
I think it would be strange to say Eid Mubarak to a non-Muslim, I guess I would go with general words like happy holiday etc…
We also have holidays here right now, but will end very soon (next Friday or so)
So Mathew, can you tell us where you are from and to which religion you belong(if any)?
Thank you,
Ali
9. matthew | December 23rd, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Hi Ali,
I’m an American and a Christian, currently living in Fes, Morocco.
10. djouallah mimoune | December 23rd, 2007 at 4:35 pm
now it is more clear, and i was astonished how an American know about Muslim holidays, any by the way Merry Christmas
11. matthew | December 23rd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Thank you very much!
If it helps a bit more, I’m also a cultural researcher and writer (and I speak Arabic, which makes the research much easier).
12. vorian | December 23rd, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Merry Christmas Matt!
13. djouallah mimoune | December 23rd, 2007 at 8:54 pm
wow so if i understood correctly, ubuntu+guitarist+ american+ speak arabic+ arabic culture = Matt.
14. Ali | December 23rd, 2007 at 10:17 pm
I don’t really want to get into your personal life but I am interested in knowing the institution that you work for. Can you tell us about it?
And I forgot to mention, Happy Holiday
15. matthew | December 24th, 2007 at 3:47 am
I own a small research/publishing company, Derby and Wehttam. derbyandwehttam.com Details of the business are on the web page.
16. Brad Johnson | December 24th, 2007 at 4:08 am
Thanks for the post. Well said. Merry Christmas!
17. human | December 24th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
god is dead, happy satanmass!
18. matthew | December 24th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
LOL. Was that a troll? Either way, I’m amused.
19. C | December 24th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
I could not disagree with this post. Happy holidays!
PS. I like your "Human test" before submitting comments.
20. matthew | December 24th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
Hi C! Thanks for the complement.
21. porterkm | December 24th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Thank you very much for your political incorrectness.
Merry Christmas to all!
22. Eduardo Padoan | December 24th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Really well said. Merry Crisfsmas!
http://www.venganza.org/2007/12/...
23. peter | December 26th, 2007 at 6:46 am
Hey, Merry Christmas.
Actually it never occurred to me, that anyone could possibly be offended by someones xmas wish. I have never even heard of such thing happening. It is no longer hypersensitivity, but more likely hyperidiocy.
24. im.Tehk | December 27th, 2007 at 12:05 am
Thank you for spreading this message Matthew and seasons greetings. I have a few curmudgeons in my family that do exactly what you described and it is saddening. Hopefully we will get past the ‘attack on santa, my religion or lack there of’ mentality this time of year in the near future.
25. Matthew Helmke (dot) Net &hellip | May 10th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
[...] wonder what sort of comments I’ll find on this post…I’ve posted similar thoughts before. Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can [...]
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